Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Without you

Since you left, I have been trying to make sense of what happened. I try to write, but I'm incapable of writing anything but ragged rhymes even a child wouldn't be proud of. I talk and talk, but I'm ashamed to say you were my only real friend. You were the only one who really understood and never judged me though I may be very different from you. Even now I take two steps forward, and run back to where your embrace should have been.I have to tell you that the world has become too vast now that you are not in it. In your absence, I falter like a planet struck out of orbit. I fail like a star put out of allignment and I float aimlessly through this dark universe. Without you, I'm bereft of purpose and direction. Lost in a world that shows no compassion, no mercy, and I'm shrouded in my Aloneness. I scream, I rant, and rail and curse the unfeeling fates for leading me here. I weep, I cry, I sob, and falter again. I feel as if a blanket has been ripped away from me, and I tremble exposed more so now than ever in my forced solitude. I shiver as I lose myself in chaos. I try to cling to reason, but my heart's not in it.I want to cling to you now, but your not here anymore


The Gray said...

i can see the pain bursting out of this post..!

but, not to dwell much on it.. afterall, suffering is good in a way.. never to suffer from losing something precious, would mean never to have been blessed..!

Shahoodeh said...

I tried to organize it into rhymes and a more poetic scheme but somehow this seemed to fit better, although I never realized it had rhyme or musicality until I read it out loud during the reading club. It reminds me of my older poems at the passionate age of 18 to 20.
I love the reading club. It brings out my theatrical nature. I grip the microphone and start reading as if I'm about to play a role.

Don't worry. I'm always okay.

The Gray said...

good to hear..

I imagine myself organizing one of those..

The Gray said...

no updates lately?

check my blog? u might get inspired by the latest entry..!! :p